Trauma, triggers 

I just realized that well, another emotional flashback trigger!!

When people tell me that things I see, are likely caused by other things.

Coming again from yours truly, my bio mother, who always told me that what I perceive as a reality isn't real and only her truth is the real one.

For example, I have food sensivities, when I said I don't like that food, I was forced to lie, so she could feel better, at my expense

Trauma, triggers, gross 

To be a little more precise:

I can't bite pineapple, otherwise I have a strong urge to vomit.
So, of course I say "I don't like pineapple". What I get as a response is, that I shouldn't be so picky and just eat them, as they taste good.

I am supposed to enjoy a meal, I literally can't enjoy, because biting part of it makes me want to puke all over the table.

I developed a couple mechanics to "eat" pineapple in things over the years

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Trauma, triggers, gross 

btw, if that's not even enough.
Any evidence of me eating the thing is then taken as me actually liking the food.

Where I still, you know, can't bite the stuff or vomit. Where I am then encouraged to do even worse things (like eat only pineapple) and then get baffled responses when I refuse, because "you ate it yesterday in <meal>"

And yes, I forced it down my throat, with the rest of the meal, but pure I can't avoid biting the shit

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Trauma, triggers, lewd-adjacent 

Also this just drawn a couple of parallels to current kink stuff I am "indulging" in, which is literally this, but with my gender experience.

More or less having any evidence to the contrary taken, that my identity is invalid and being told my identity is invalid.

Damn brain....

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